A hilarious how-to guide on being human by everyone’s favorite Bending Unit, Bender B. Rodriguez.

HEY MEATBAG! Are you a human or do you just want to be one? Do you think you’re good at being human? Well, you’re WRONG, pal! Get right with the info in Bender’s Guide to Life: By me, Bender!, and you too can be almost human! Here’s all the nitty-gritty detail on how to eat, drink, and be merry, in home life, work life, or any other kind of life that you might have.

From office pranks to how NOT to “Kill all humans!,” Bender’s Guide to Life features original art and questionable advice for the ages from all your Futurama favorites including Fry, Leela, Amy, and yes, Bender himself. And even some from no one’s favorite, Dr. John Zoidberg.

“A truly delightful book loaded with useful information.” —Me, Bender

“So smart, so helpful, essential reading for all humans.” —Also me, Bender

“Best book I’ve ever read. You’re a dummy if you disagree.” —Bender B. Rodriguez, Robot

“He’ll steal your heart . . . and your wallet.” —Professor Farnsworth or somebody